my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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