He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
