Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
