You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
