I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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