We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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