I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
