youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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