it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
