Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
