you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
