No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
