We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
