hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
