awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
