If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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