When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm way too hungover for life right now
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
