pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize