isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
