i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
