Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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