He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
accomplished twins. life is a go
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
