i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
