yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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