i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
