Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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