i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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