Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
