i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
4 words: hood of his car
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
