I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
