I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
