they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
