Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We have so much sex to catch up on
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
