They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
