Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
