i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
