So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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