I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize