I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
