I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
