dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
