i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
