She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
