i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
