I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
