Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
