If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Randomize
