Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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