did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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