Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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