I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize