I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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