I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
