Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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