I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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