I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my being single is dangerous.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
