It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
