Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
