Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
His nipple licking is glorious
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