i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
