if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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