its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
