I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
