Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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