My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My bed smells like the plague
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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