NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
