Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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