Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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