I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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