Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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