the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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