The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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